The Way Home, Part 3: Coming Home
How I finally walked away, why the money stopped being scary, and the invitation I never thought I'd be the one making.
If you’re new here, read: Part 1 - The Trading Floor and Part 2 - The Breadcrumbs
The two things in my way
So there I was, silent tears running down my face in my own guest room for the first time in thirty years, seeing an energy healer on my laptop between work calls. And somewhere in the year and a half that followed, the fog kept lifting bit by bit until I could finally see the thing I’d been avoiding. I wanted out.
But wanting out and actually leaving are two very different animals, and two things stood squarely in my way. My identity. And the money.
The identity piece went deep. If I wasn’t the corporate badass juggling everything, then who was I? I was so tangled up in being the capable one that walking away felt like erasing myself. Not to mention that ingrained part of me that kept telling me walking away was failing at something. And there was a specific shame I could not shake: the thought of having childcare but no corporate job (since I already had the 10 week experience of being home alone with them and what that did to my mental health). I was embarrassed by it. Who keeps the nanny and quits the job? (Plenty of people, it turns out, but at the time I was certain I’d be judged for it.) Katie and I worked in session on the identity piece for a year and a half, maybe closer to two. Not “talked about it.” Worked on it, until the story I was carrying about who I had to be actually loosened its grip. The mind is really really good at telling stories and then holding on to them for dear life.
Then the money. After climbing the ladder for close to 15 years at an investment bank, I made good money. Many would say really good money. The thought of giving it up because I “didn’t love going to work” felt insane, and borderline irresponsible, especially to me. My parents divorced when I was really little and I came out of it with a bone-deep need to be able to take care of myself no matter what. The thought of handing over the reins and relying fully on my husband’s income terrified me. Even though he made enough to support our family easily, it was more about how it would make me feel than the real actual money.
The thing that finally shifted it was something my husband pointed out that I’d somehow never counted. All those rental properties I was managing, making every single decision on, pouring my nights and weekends into, they brought in real income. And because I did all the work, he’d always thought of that income as mine. I had genuinely never framed it that way. Once I did, a lightbulb just went off. I already had another job. I already brought in income. I could leave the bank, run the real estate full time, keep our childcare, and have a hundred times more flexibility in my life.
COVID, of all things, made it obvious. Our real estate business took off during that period. I had multiple properties under construction, and because we were all home anyway, both laptops sat side by side on my desk. When the market closed and my trading day wrapped up, I’d close the work laptop, open the personal one, and pour my evenings and weekends into the properties. At some point it stopped being a side thing. It was a job. I’d just been doing it after hours, on top of another job, plus being a mom and a wife and a whole human being. When I looked up and really took a moment to take my office in, seeing it physically set up for TWO jobs gave me the permission to go back to just one (just happened to be the OTHER one rather than the original).
Even then, it took me lots of real inside work with Katie to actually get ready and take the leap. To become the version of me who could walk out the door. And then, right after I hit the tipping point and put it out there, the universe did something I still can’t fully explain.
In February 2021 I went to my boss and told him I was ready to step away, that I was burnt out and wanted more time with my family. He told me I was a rock star employee and that he wanted to support me, and he offered me a six-month leave of absence. A test drive. Try it, and if I hated it, come back; if I loved it, quit from the leave. It was genuinely generous, and I went home fully planning to take it.
Then I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and just knew. The leave would just be kicking the can down the road. That seat wasn’t mine anymore, my heart wasn’t in it, and if I didn’t rip the bandaid off, the decision would hang over the whole “time off” and I’d never actually land in my new life. The next day I thanked him and told him I was sure. We set up a three to four month transition, and I’d be out by late June.
What happened next is what solidified for me the idea that the universe always has my back, what’s for you can’t land until you make space for it, and we are ALL powerful manifestors.
The sign I couldn’t explain
That May, while I was working out my last stretch, another bank came to my husband with a job offer. He didn’t even want it, he liked his job. I said, what’s the harm in interviewing, we’re still working from home for COVID (yes, still, in summer 2021), go gather information, nobody will even know. So he interviewed. They offered. He said no thanks. They asked what job he would want, and he basically designed his own dream role. They said sure. He ended up leaving the trading floor before I did, even though I was the one who decided to leave first! (Annoying! LOL)
The sign from the universe that I was on the right path? The new job included a pay raise for my husband, and what they offered him was almost exactly the amount of income I was walking away from. Our household income didn’t change. One of the biggest blockers I’d spent over a year clawing my way over - the money - was just taken care of like that. And neither of us had engineered it. I just trusted that we could make it work if I left and we would figure out how to live a slightly different, less expensive lifestyle, and before I was even gone we had a way to “make up” my income without any extra effort. If you’ve ever wondered whether I believe in manifestation, that’s the moment I stopped wondering. And I now tell that story to everyone I meet that is afraid to move forward – you never know how you will be taken care of until you put it out there that you’re ready to let go!
The leaving itself was anticlimactic. After fifteen years, I never got to walk the floor and say goodbye, because we were still in lockdown all that time later. I sent messages to the people I would miss, closed one laptop, and kept working on the other. My husband had an industry required 90 day transition period between firms (still paid!), so that summer we were both not working, both still getting paid (I had negotiated a severance package), with two little kids, three and five. We looked at each other and thought, this will never happen again where we all 4 are home and have this kind of flexibility?? So we decided to go to Hawaii for a month with the kids. (The irony that TODAY we’re both working from home for ourselves and the kids are homeschooled and we have the same flexibility we had that summer, is not lost on me. 😂)
That was five years ago. My life today looks nothing like anything trading-floor me could have pictured. I travel the world on spiritual retreats. I homeschool my boys (elementary age is my jam!) with a wild amount of flexibility. I do 1:1 biomagnetism sessions and energy work, the exact kind of work that pulled me out of my own hole. I still love a spreadsheet, some things don’t change, but the grind of fifty and sixty hour weeks in a windowless seat is just gone.
And Katie. I owe so much of this to her that words feel too small for it. Over the years we went from healer and client to actual real, close friends. Right after I left my job, she created a little weekend retreat for women who needed community, and a group of us went, not just to receive from her, but to build something together. That group stuck for several years. We would meet twice a year for a weekend, with smaller check-ins in between, and it quietly became the support system I didn’t know I’d been starving for.
Last year, hosting another one of these weekends, Katie and I looked at each other and said the same thing at once. We’re really good at this. We know how to build a space where women actually feel held. What if we opened it up, beyond just our circle? Katie has already been leading worldwide retreats with her husband for years, and I have been hosting and creating these intimate spaces for others for most of my life (remember - I’m used to taking care of everyone else?? These days I know how to do it while taking care of myself too.)
The invitation
So we are doing it! Rooted.Rested.Rising was born this year. We hosted a beautiful one-day women’s retreat here in Charlotte this past June and the women walked out lighter and more connected than when they came in. We’ve got a Biomagnetism Sound Healing combination workshop coming up in August locally in Charlotte (We had one in June as well). And we’re just now opening registration for the most important one yet.
It’s called The Way Home. October 8-11, 2026, on the Isle of Palms in South Carolina, just outside of Charleston.
We built it for a specific woman, and I think you might know her. She’s me, seven years ago. She’s running the whole show for her spouse, her kids, her parents, her job, everyone. She has it all together on the outside and no idea who she is underneath anymore, because she hasn’t had a real minute to herself in years. She’s genuinely forgotten what it feels like to be taken care of.
The Way Home is four days where none of that is her problem. No logistics. Dietary restrictions aren’t a hassle, they’re just handled, by a private chef. There are quiet solo walks on the beach, and there are games and crafts, and there’s also ceremony, sacred time, channeled energy healings, and a room full of women who know exactly what it’s like to carry all of it. It is, truly, the way home. Back to the version of you that existed before you put everyone else first.
I know how hard it is to put yourself first, to actually spend the money on something like this. And to ask for the time/support from those around you to take over the spinning plates. I lived inside that fear for a very long time, remember. But I promise you, if you go, you come back with momentum, filled all the way up, better able to take care of everyone you love without running on empty. Every retreat I have ever been to did that for me. The more I poured into my own cup, the more I had to give when I got back home.
If any of this is landing a little too close to home, that might be your breadcrumb. You can find everything about it here: The Way Home. And you can find Katie and her work at Zen Within Academy.
Come home to yourself. We’ll hold the space for you.
Before you go
Thank you for reading this vulnerable post. My hope is to connect with women that can see themselves in any part of my story. If you think that might be you, I’d love for you to reply and tell me which part resonated most with you. Looking forward to connecting with other women taking the leap into finding their true selves and quieting all the noise telling you what you “should” be.
Talk soon,
Kristen ❤️
Kristen! I am SO HAPPY for you! I see myself throughout your journey - and so thrilled that you are fulfilled and purposeful in this incredible work you are doing. I can't wait to keep following your path and learning more as you develop The Way Home. Congratulations!!